14 March 2007

Silent and Deadly Prayer

Last night, in the midst of saying all of her typical humdrum prayers for health, wisdom, her family, etc, my wife prayed for death-dealing ninja skills.

So, to any Christians or those who live with Christians: Does that strike any of you as odd? What are its implications? What would you pray for? Discuss.

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At March 14, 2007 10:18 p.m., Anonymous Sarge said...

I have never prayed for anything, but when I was a kid we had to say grace before meals. While my father wasn't as bad as Benjamin Franklin's, there were times I could sympathize with his suggestion to HIS father than he go into the pantry and larder and say grace once over things to get it over with. Dad did like to have his chin wag at meal times.

Grace is a funny thing. I was a member of a group about five years ago who got the prayer thing rolling. They got the hand hold everyone say something school happening, and they took it hard when I said "pass". I got tired of my food getting cold, so I started eating seperately. This was not approved of. It turned out, much to my surprise, that my refusal to conform was "shoving my religion down their throats" and much resented. I was "being disrespectful".

I have a feeling that most of the twice born don't really think about what they're saying when they petition their imaginary friend. Take "The Lord's Prayer." Look at the part where they ask to be forgiven as they forgive. Hmmm. I think of all the feuds in churches, all the jockeying for control of this or that, the slights that are never put away over the years, and yet they ask for such consideration to be given to even as they, themselves give. If I actually believed that drivel, it would scare the shit out of me to say such a thing.
I even called this to the attention of a hyper-religious, poisonous old bat I know, but she said it wouldn't effect her; she was already 'saved'. She'd pulled a fast one on her diety, he couldn't touch her! Kings X! When confronted by such a (I use these words loosely) 'thought process' you don't know whether to laugh or cry.

At March 14, 2007 10:23 p.m., Anonymous Sarge said...

Sorry, should have clarified, the "group" I refer to was a band, we spent a lot of time on the road together.

At March 14, 2007 11:06 p.m., Anonymous mel said...

It strikes me as a way of saying: god, I know you're not really listening (though I'll never admit it to anyone) so I'm going to have a little fun and pretend that you have a sense of humor...'cause I'd like it if you did.

Not odd at all, when taken in the context of speaking to an imaginary friend. I've done similar things when I was a prayer. If I were to return to those days, I'd be more inclined toward praying for Pirate skills.

At March 15, 2007 8:33 a.m., Blogger King Aardvark said...

Hmmm, pirate skills. Including the ability to train a parrot, I presume? Not good for my wife - she gets seasick (as do I) so piratery is not in the works for us. I guess she could pray to no longer be seasick and then pray for pirate skills.

However, I think there is a good possibility that she really does think god is listening and really does want ninja skills really, really badly. She has taken a few self-defense courses but doesn't have the time or patience to train properly to pick up said skills.

Sarge, your bandmates' behaviour and attitudes don't surprise me at all. A lot of religious people have an unfathomably unreasonable idea of what constitutes forcing ones religion down someone else's throat.

At March 15, 2007 7:14 p.m., Anonymous Sarge said...

What frosts my gonads so much about these people is that in the end there was no option. I simply had to refuse to go anymore. I am assuming that your Ontario is the Canadian one, I don't know how things are there, but after 9-11 here people just went ape-shit on religion and patriotism, and one had better be sound on both of these questions. This problem doesn't seem to have eased in any way.

It doesn't have to be that way. I am an atheist, my wife is not, but because I love and respect her and if she wants a short grace before a meal, no problem. My oldest son and his wife (full blood Blackfoot native American)are both atheists. My youngest and his wife are believers. She is black, from Toronto (folks came up from Jamaica, moved to North Carolina)are Anglicans. I have been told by some of the (allegedly)Holy, that such unions are "ungodly" due to the racial mixture. We all attended the christenings of the youngest's sons children, oldest and his wife flew in to stand with their kin and lend support of family. I even played the harp for the service. None of the three of us leaped to our feet and yelled "Lies! It's all lies, I tell you!" Oh, I threatened to, but everyone knew I was just kidding. If people from such different backgrounds can manage, well I guess I don't understand why mutual respect can't be afforded back and forth.

At March 16, 2007 2:11 a.m., Anonymous mel said...

However, I think there is a good possibility that she really does think god is listening and really does want ninja skills really, really badly.

Fortunately you and your brother we don't have to worry about this kind of prayer being answered. As for me, my wife may just try to kill me in my sleep...no ninja skills required.

IOW, my wife is a believer too. She hates my atheist ways.

At March 16, 2007 8:26 a.m., Blogger King Aardvark said...

Mel, your wife wants to kill you in your sleep? Wow! My dad keeps on saying that my wife is going to kill me in my sleep!

It's got nothing to do with atheism and everything to do with how much I really enjoy annoying her as much as possible, though ;-)

At March 16, 2007 6:58 p.m., Blogger BigHeathenMike said...

I'd pray for tremendous abdominal muscles that would make Usher shake with envy and that would never go away, regardless of how many caramel/oreo McFlurries I ate.

That and crazy-dope magic skills. I believe I should say "skillz".


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