I Am Turning Into a Land Whale

The past couple of days have been an extraveganza of culinary overindulgence.

Tuesday brought the company potluck lunch. People always bring a little too much and they always bring good stuff, so I ate way too much there, including perogies, fried noodles, Swedish meatballs, Indian meatballs, chicken in white wine sauce, devilled eggs, a samosa, stuffed pasta shells, pasta salad, potato salad, bean salad, spicy chicken wings, nachos with refried beans, potato wedges, chocolate macaroon, rum ball, egg tart, slice of chocolate cake, and some clementines.

I would have had more, but I had to save room for Tuesday night.

On Tuesday night, my wife and I went to her Alpha course year end Christmas party (more on that crapiness will follow), where we were served a dinner of ham, yams, some really well done mushrooms, broccoli, and cake. We got there late, so there wasn't as much food left for us, but it was ok; we had to leave quickly...

...To go to another party. This one was the Christmas party for our badminton club, held at a pub. We were about an hour late, so some of the wonderfully greasy pub food was gone, but we still had some chicken wings, slices of greek-style thin-crust pizza, garlic bread, these deep fried things that were similar to spring rolls but weren't, fries, and lots and lots of ribs. There were so many ribs left over that we took four takeout boxes home with us (We aren't that piggy; we gave most of them away).

I was so full, I could still feel food in my esophagus the next day. Which was too bad, since the next day, my department at work had our Christmas lunch, and we went to the best Chinese buffet around. I ate 2 plates of food, including pepper beef stir fry, curry chicken, chicken teriyaki, egg roll, shrimp stir fry, devilled egg, curry chicken salad, onion rings, bacon-wrapped beef tenderloin, roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans, a dumpling, and fried chicken. I also had 2 plates of dessert, including a waffle topped with ice cream, whipped cream, strawberry sauce, and syrup, a brownie, some cake, fruit triffle, Jell-o, some mango ice cream, and a chocolate sundae. It was very good. I didn't think I could eat that much with how full I already was, but I somehow managed it - just because it was so good. I did this while sitting next to the company president and my department head. Good impressions there, I'll bet. I had to unbuttoned my pants and opened my belt one more notch.

That's a good start to the Christmas season. I ate way too much, so I'm feeling pretty low now. My stomach is weighing down the rest of my body.

Isn't getting fat a much better reason to celebrate than the arbitrarily-selected birthday of some dude who may or may not have existed 2000 years ago?