27 June 2007

Berlzebub was WRONG: I AM a gigantic idiot

In a recent post, I described in detail why I'm stupid: I forgot my safety boots, hard hat, and safety vest at work when I went to a site visit ~1 hour drive away; I had two sets of drawings authorized by me that conflicted with each other; and to top it off, I locked my keys in my trunk. Berlzebub was nice and wrote this:
Take it from someone who's been there, almost identically. You are not a gigantic idiot. You were just having a bad day.
That's very kind and understanding of him; however, it's also dead wrong.

I am a gigantic idiot. Want more proof?

I was leaving the office Tuesday evening. As I was walking down the front steps (there are 5 of them) I glanced over my shoulder to see how busy the nearby park was, as I was thinking of kicking back and reading outside for a bit. In that instant, my new shoes (which are somewhat clunkier than my old shoes) dragged on the concrete step, causing me to lose my balance. I tripped - more like toppled - straight over from the next-to-top step, and, without time to think of anything more than, "uh-oh," fell flat on my right shoulder, barely avoiding cracking my head on the sidewalk.

After laying there for a moment or two stunned and in a not unsubstantial amount of pain, I swore loudly and dragged myself off the ground. I realized that I had whacked my right wrist pretty hard on the concrete, likely spraining it, bruised my right shoulder and left knee, and made a substantial tear in my new pants. That part really pissed me off. When I say new, I mean new; this was only my second time wearing them, and my keys had ripped a series of holes up the right thigh.

If I've done the math correctly, my downward velocity at impact was about 25 km/h, which is pretty fast - especially when you aren't expecting it. Plus, concrete is pretty damned hard. I lucked out that I wasn't more seriously hurt, though my wrist is still bothering me. More than that, I further lucked out in that I was leaving 15 minutes early so I could pick up some documents from a nearby office before they closed, therefore absolutely nobody saw me make a giant fool of myself.

Strange thing is, other than ruining my wrist/pants, I think the whole experience was hilarious - I was laughing out loud at myself for the rest of the day) - and I don't think I would change the event if I could. Maybe I did crack my head on the pavement afterall and just don't remember?



At June 27, 2007 9:40 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Porrasturvat - Stair Dismount!


At June 28, 2007 9:06 a.m., Blogger Carlo said...

In case you were not aware, you can follow this link to the 'Dismount' games (mentioned above) and model your catastrophic stumble to your heart's content! Hilarity shall ensue...

But seriously though, I'v done worse on busy streets. I was coming out of the dentist's office and tripped over the sign in the parking lot, leading to a face-plant in a puddle of mud... at the corner of one of the busiest intersections in Hamilton. Everyone saw me... I ruined a pair of shoes AND gouged a nice cut into my foot.

Get the wrist checked though, a minor fracture that heals improperly can lead to pain for life.

At June 28, 2007 9:12 a.m., Blogger Necator said...

Get the wrist checked though, a minor fracture that heals improperly can lead to pain for life.

...And difficulty wanking.

At June 28, 2007 12:41 p.m., Blogger King Aardvark said...

I am fully aware of the Dismount games. I spent far too much time in the summer of '03 playing those. It's almost as fun in real life;-)

In a snowstorm, I was walking with my head down so I wouldn't freeze my face, but the downside is you can't see anything either. I walked right into a road sign (I think it was "children playing" or "crosswalk" or some damn thing like that). That's pretty embarrassing.

I probably will get my wrist checked out if it doesn't get better by tomorrow. It feels pretty good right now, but I can't twist my palm too far from its "at rest" position without it starting to hurt.

Thanks, necator. All class...

At June 28, 2007 3:41 p.m., Blogger Stew said...

You are a gigantic idiot.

(close your eyes and imagine you are Stimpy. now imagine Ren shouting at you: "You stupid idiot! You filthy worm! You bloated sack! "

At June 29, 2007 12:19 p.m., Blogger CHADMAC said...

Take my word on it.....follow Carlo's advice and get the wrist checked. I sprained my wrist years ago and didn't take proper care of it and now it still bothers me to this day.

At July 02, 2007 3:33 p.m., Blogger Berlzebub said...

It appears that I stand corrected.

*In the bully from the Simpsons voice* HA Ha!

Now, take everyones advice and get your wrist checked. Trying to avoid carpal tunnel is bad enough, you don't want to have to deal with additional damage, too.

At July 03, 2007 12:51 p.m., Blogger King Aardvark said...

I got the wrist checked out. It doesn't appear to be particularly bad. No break. Doctor says that it should heal ok if I don't ruin it more myself.

Right now it still hurts a bit if I twist my forearm or put a lot of weight on it. Other than that it's fine.


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