Church Peeves: Part 6 - Bonus Good Stuff
Over the past couple of weeks, I've posted a series of 5 posts of inconsequential stuff about some churches/churchgoers that really bugs me.
So in fairness, here is a quick one-off post of 5 inconsequential things about church that are actually pretty decent:
Depending on the church (the younger and bigger the better) you can find some pretty damn good musicians. Too bad the music they play sucks monkey balls.
2) Charity work
Yeah, they run a few food drives and the Christmas shoebox campaign, so that’s good. Unfortunately, most of the programs at my wife’s church are of the bible camp/missionary trip/self-help program variety rather than outright charitable causes. Still, at least some of the money they collect isn’t spent on new Powerpoint projectors and a sweet games room.
3) The handful of guys slouched over and sleeping in their chairs
They hide in the back. They prop their heads up. They slouch and sleep. They really don’t want to be there. Perhaps, like me, they are forced to be there by their wives. In these guys, I feel like I’ve found a few kindred spirits. I, for one, am appreciative of when the pastor calls on the congregation to bow their heads in prayer because then I can rest my eyes for a while. I believe these guys feel the same way, and I respect that.
4) Hot girls
My wife would kill me for mentioning it, but at many churches I’ve been to, there are a lot of good-looking young women. And, while they aren’t dressed slutty per se, they are definitely advertising themselves for something. Not that I’m looking. Of course not. [shifty eyes]
5) Standing up, sitting down
And Standing up, and sitting down, then standing up again, followed by sitting down. You get the picture. It’s awesome. No wait, I fucking hate it. I must have run out of positive things to talk about. Oh well, at least it’s good exercise. And at least we don’t go to a Catholic church. How do Catholics not have huge quad muscles?
So in summary, church isn’t all horrible. There are at least a couple of good things going on for the annoyed atheist. Do they make church bearable? Hell no.